living up to being successful

So last night I was discussing with someone about my family. I explained how successful my family is, and how hard it is to live up to their reputation. I don't necessarily think that the reputation is what is what I am stressing about the most. In high school you have to stay strong, make wise decisions, because high school is such a crucial point to where one some slip up effects your future. A good education can back you up throughout your entire life. Education and knowledge is so powerful, without it, we would be so naive and making so many mistakes we couldn't handle anything. That is what scares me, high school is where it's at, everything i do in this period of time effects where i will be standing in the future.

Culture

In our generation our knowledge is expanding, our curiosity of the world around grows on us. We yearn to learn more. Instead of being left to wonder, we seek the various myths and stories told and passed down for centuries. These stories tell us how they lived, including the diverse cultures-traditions, marriage, funerals & etc. In which they reflect in their literature. With this said, the stories and traditions help us seek the understanding why they live the way they lived.

Cultures portray what other countries view the world to be through their eyes. Each culture has their God and worship him or her in different ways. Cultures help diversify the world, though still being the children of God. Therefore, in their culture the stories help their generation understand their ancestors, and help us understand and learn what goes on in their culture. Our experience in exploring to find new information, it helps the next generation have vast amount of information. Contemporary World Literature enables us to expand the knowledge we have. Such as, teaching the children of tomorrow what we know, so we all can be one. For example, we unite together as one with our diversified food selections, which is not only delicious, but shows what type of resources they have to make as food.

Literature has helped us in many ways than just one. Not only does culture portray other countries, but it also reveals who we are, and where we all came from to form into one, diversified world.

memories

Do Memories hinder or help people in their effort?

Living your life to reach success, you use your wisdom and instinct to find your achievement. Although Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot said, "You must forget about your past and relinquish it." I disagree, as we grow up, we find ourselves and gain our knowledge, and wisdom from past experiences. We are who we are, with whatever hang-ups and repressions, we find what we do to better ourselves as a person.

Therefore, memories do help people in their effort to learn from the past to succeed to the future. We have memories for a reason, the more knowledge and experience we receive, the wiser we get over time, for life decisions we are put through. It's the power of the mind that makes us successful. From personal experience, if it wasn't from what I learned, I would not be in the right place I am in now. Only the wise get far in life, while others look for wisdom to achieve a fuller life.

I want you to understand that a person's decision is based on reason.

Truly, i can't help you, but only encourage you with words of wisdom.

You can only heal when you realize that your confident on your own.

It doesn't mean to bottle it up, hide it away, or think that you'll always be Alone.

Darling, you are only so young, and it's so bittersweet;

One love lost, is one love gained,

It's a learning process, it's okay to feel shamed,

But you'll feel 10 times worse than it could be,

Sweetie, just remember that's not the way love should be.

"How do you know who are you? Can you know who you are?"

How do you know who you are? Can you know who you are? How would you know who you are?

Ask these questions to yourself. Sure, you know what you are capable of, and who you CAN be, but in reality how do you really know? In life, everyone has there own decisions, there own opinions, with their own aberrations. You can say you are a large indefinite amount of characteristics; stating your flaws or qualities. No one knows the truth because our personalities are so abundant that it's too difficult to classify. People sometimes perceive themselves based on other people's judgments. There is no true answer of knowing who you really are.

You don't need to know who you are, it's who you want to become, people change, and sometimes they will never know.

Daddy;

3/11/10

I'm in Geometry at the moment, i just finished taking a test, and there's only 19 more minutes till school is over. It's a year since my dad passed away. It's so bittersweet.

bitter- because my dad is gone.

sweet- because of how much I've made it through this year, and how i've learned.

I have matured a lot as well. It's not the experience, it's how i handled the situation. it's sad though, how time flies, and you only have so much time to live before you die. And all those moments you wasted, when you could have done something productive. I say this, but quite honestly, I do absolutely nothing about it...Well i'm being spontaneous to see how much more different my life, and feelings are turning out. i don't know, life is so confusing, and my feelings mixed makes it more confusing for me. I'm trying to take it day by day. I'll be fine no matter what, i have my father watching over me.

Today i am going to visit my dad. It's raining, and how ironic, it was pouring at my father's funeral/viewing. I guess it's really true when they say,"when it rains, it pours."

R.I.P Daddy. <3/11/093

my last words.

I put you up on the highest pedestal, like you were my trophy. I was your puzzle piece that couldn't exactly fit into your picture. And you know what, I am okay. I love you, okay cool, i'll get over it. Your a handsome, funny, charming, sweet person, but your not for me. I don't date people that have to live up to your expectations, your too much of an over achiever for me. I felt so pathetic when you left, i scouted to get a glimpse of you, and when i did i couldn't stop staring, and you gave me an awkward smile. These are my final words to you as an insecure, child, who is in love with you. You were so good to me, i have no clue what happened, maybe soccer, or you got bored of me, it's whatever. But i can't get those back, because you weren't mine in the first place. It seems like the only way i can get over you, is to be upset with you. There is no other way, everything i see reminds me of you, and it kills me a little inside, to be completely blunt with you.

So now i will throw these feelings in the trash, because you aren't my infirmity and more.

Your just my friend.

Good writing

Good writing is when you can put out your words in a thought out manner, and expressing the details of one's work. Good writing is when you have your idea that are important and interesting . Also the vocabulary you use should be memorable and deep, but it is also smooth and understanding. It's always good to have the right words to say just the rights. Being a good writer doesn't always benefit the same view, and opinions. It's important though, to make your story clear and having the ability to imply to the reader, the right message.

my sadness will never end

I feel like a burden, i feel like i don't belong. it's whatever i know it's just me..maybe

no matter what i seem to do never seems right. i am tired of trying to play catch up and it never works.

back into your hole michelle.

i don't know why i am feeling like this, but i am sick of it.

I am the wrong thing

So lately i haven't felt like i have been doing the right thing. Now what exactly is the right thing i am suppose to be doing? -i have no idea.

I've noticed that in this society, everyone's words changes and makes who we are, so if you say the wrong thing, it can change your life dramatically. And lately, i feel like, I am the wrong thing. Sort of like, i am in the wrong pair of jeans and i feel the need to get a size bigger or change them, but if i do then it might change my life, and i am too scared for that. So far no matter what i do, i feel like i do something wrong and someone is either disappointed in me, or i am disappointed in myself. I can never seem to make anyone happy, and that's aggravating for me because i don't want to do anything about it. I feel like i always do or say the wrong thing and people are telling me that i can't be Michelle, and Michelle makes A LOT of mistakes and they tell me i can't do this or that because Michelle wouldn't do that. Sort of like i am some kind of robot. It's like in order for me to get what i want, i can't truly be myself, or else i will never get what i want. Or i will be out of the loop and left out.

(photo credits to Kerry Callan)

Group Therapy, and a little A.D.D

so, i have this idea. And so far my friends think that this could work. Well lately, I have been having depression issues, and yes i have a therapist. And i know what you are thinking, why would someone want to be a psychologist when she needs it herself, but it's different for me. But anyway, my idea is having a group therapy for my peers that are having issues. But instead of the traditional group therapy where you just tell your thoughts and issues. This group would be anonymous with confessing. How you would do this is by having a bag in the center of the circle and everyone writes on a post-it note and confesses what there issues are about, you wouldn't use any names and etc. And the group would talk about the issue and how you could solve them, that way the person who is troubled can find a resolution and no one would know.

sound like a good idea?

memories of dad

Saturday mornings, sitting around our pajamas watching whatever could be on in the mornings, going to the Trans Am club and talking about cars, then off to lunch at Old Country Buffet. Looking at those huge hands as you tried to match up yours. He let you eat all the junk food while mom . got frustrated at the Saturday food habits. tickle fights, being tucked in bed, goofiness, laughs and giggles, and the best of all; being daddy's little girl.

Then those teenage years approach, over protection from the boyfriends, deep discussions about the future, and the better understanding of life and happiness. Homework help, comfort when upset. Your hugging being when you cried, the family stories passed down. Tight hugs of fear that his little girl is growing up. His prickly kisses on the cheeks from his mustache. Wanting to follow his career. teaching how to play guitar hero. Best friends.

Those are those moments of your life, were they will always be apart of you, those memories that will last forever.

missing class

The whole idea of missing a few days of school is unfair.

Missing school because your sick, because you can't lift your stuffy, clogged up, red nosed body or even a loss of a family member should be an excuse to give some slack to the kids, especially the ones that actually try in school and rarely miss class. And then the teachers give them a hard time about not understanding/doing the work is stupid. It makes sense that you don't want the kids to fall behind, but comee onnnn. Give the kid a break, they just lost someone/can't even pick up there head off the pillow and defiantly could not solve questions or problems. Now tell me, is that fair?

Man eaters

Man eaters, That is the topic for today. Books, TV, even School girls, are man eaters. What ever happened to dignity or even respect. Come on girls, it's one thing to go all the way, but to do that with someone you barely know and the next day be all over another dude. I am not pointing any fingers *ahem* but seriously have you ever heard of sexual diseases. We are only 15 and hooking up shouldn't even be an idea to consider.

What i honestly don't understand, what is the joy of receiving a one night stand with no feelings or emotional connection. Do you honestly feel happy that you as a woman just lost respect of your friends and maybe even family?

Those people seriously bother me. I can understand if you are in a relationship or a very serious love connection and you are doing that, but not being in a relationship and just letting yourself do that is just pathetic. If you do that, you disappoint me. Don't even blame the guy, it's not his fault, if you put yourself in that situation you had it coming, it was your fault you had a big fat sign on your forehead that says, "I AM A WHORE AND PROUD. COME HAVE SEX WITH ME!" I usually have an open mind about everything, but being pro for that is just out of the question. I know it has been occurring for a long time, but where has your brain gone? All i can say is wow.

bad news

"Michelle, I have bad news"

I hate, hate, hate that phrase!

it makes my stomach go in twisted turns that i didn't even know was possible, and i feel like i am going to throw up, then i start feeling anxious, my heart starting pounding a beat that is twice as normal. I start thinking something extremely terrible is going to happen and then i start to think of something extremely great. but i can never get it down to the middle and chill out. No, i have to freak out and think of everything and anything that person could say that would be terrible, then i start feeling emotions. then i finally read/listen to what they tell me and it is stupid, sooo stupid that is just something that involves plans, goals, etc, you name it. then i yell at myself saying, "look what you did Michelle! you made such a big deal out of it" my brain starts to get random aches on my scalp, it feels like little needles that are poking around the inside of my head trying to get out. so, the next time you tell me that you have bad news, they better be BAD news.

:)

goals

Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals

I don't think i have written enough goals as much as i have now, and i am taking it into literal terms, not counting the many "goals" that i have put above. I am going nuts. I was writing in my summer journal for school, and then out of no where i randomly start becoming insane with a "Goal Book" that includes, financial goals, school/ college goals, Life goals on what i really want to do, year goals, and accomplishing for the year goals. I AM NOT EVEN IN COLLEGE, and i am worrying about finanical issues. as i am writing all of this down in a 1-subject wide ruled notebook, my mind is racing faster than i can run, Faster than my bike, Faster than a car, FASTER than an instant forward on a movie. then 9 seconds later i just stop, completely stop what i am doing and just sit there, my mind is still spinning, still going, but i just soak in all the energy of my dim light in my room, and just melt in my seat, and then i come back.

This seems to happen to me sometimes. I worry about my future, i worry if i can live a happy life, I worry about all of these GOALS! sometimes i even wonder if this is normal, I am only 15.

I wish this would stop...

beautiful

Love is beautiful, People are Beautiful, Life is Beautiful.

Lately, after my Father's death I've been really gloomy, and even though it's been months since he died, it still hurts. Recently a friend told me, "Appreciant what you have, you are Lucky." And you know what? I am, i really am. Everyone is so shallow, and selfish for the things that they don't have, and they whine about not having what they want, but really We all should be happy for what we have. Before we know it, things we do that are going to go away and we could never just live life like everyone expects us to do. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, we should study that phrase for a moment and really think about it, because really, it is. No matter what obsticles we go through it is our choice whether or not we make a good desicion and our outcome will become from what we decide. We shouldn't blame life for that, we did what we wanted to do. If we all didn't experience the things that occurred to us, we wouldn't be in the situation and experience we are now.

Prompt 2

Depending on our feelings towards making decisions;

I believe that having someone do something to guide them for their feelings should be acceptable. When someone does something it is concentrated on your comfortably and what you think is the right thing to do. Not all the time your feelings are correct, but it's called a "gut" feeling, which most of the time, is the right thing.

Depending on people, their emotions to make important decisions can't be pressuring. For instance, if they have a job to do, like a surgeon choosing whether or not a person should have surgery. The issue is that the patient has high blood pressure, a single parent, and with a young child. That can be difficult for the sympathy for the surgeon, especially if that patient didn't make it through the procedure. So not all the time, doing something from your emotions are the greatest, especially the guilt or risk.

Also in life generally, everyone is guided by their thoughts and feelings of making a decision. Usually when we want something we are going to have this "feeling" that we need or want that. It's just how a human is made, but the outcome isn't always the best, depending on the the "want" or "need" that person is considering to do.

Making a good decision is sometimes very difficult. In an average day in life, I think yes, it is good to make a good decision on our thoughtsm emotions, and feelings.

truth?

Isn't this what the world is coming to, pardon me, isn't this what the world has established towards? But then again we put up this bullshit with the peace, love, and happiness crap that has been overly used, but yet we have done absolutely nothing about it! This morning it had finally hit me, and more i think about it, why put up signs of lies when some people should just write Sex, money, and power written on there foreheads! i mean that's why they are living! for that bullshit, what happened to the old times where none of that mattered?!

love statement for kids

okay, in English class we had to write a paper for 10 minutes on our opinion of this statement on the overhead. My teacher thought it was well said;

Statement: Kids these days! they think that love conquers all, when they don't even listen or respect their elders;

I believe that this statement is true. Kids don't see what is really needed in a relationship. For example you need trust, loyalty, patience, understanding, and responsibility. Kids are too naive on the consequences of falling in love, especially at a young age and also the perfect balance of of relationships with family, also. Even though no matter what we face in life, we are always going to have our highest of the high and our lowest of the low, but even love can't solve that. Love has to have discipline, rules, and boundaries-Not all kids understand that til they are older. Things do matter besides love and you most defiantly have to have, respect for your elders, if you want them to respect your relationship. Love is way different for young kids as it is for when you get older.