missing class

The whole idea of missing a few days of school is unfair.

Missing school because your sick, because you can't lift your stuffy, clogged up, red nosed body or even a loss of a family member should be an excuse to give some slack to the kids, especially the ones that actually try in school and rarely miss class. And then the teachers give them a hard time about not understanding/doing the work is stupid. It makes sense that you don't want the kids to fall behind, but comee onnnn. Give the kid a break, they just lost someone/can't even pick up there head off the pillow and defiantly could not solve questions or problems. Now tell me, is that fair?

Man eaters

Man eaters, That is the topic for today. Books, TV, even School girls, are man eaters. What ever happened to dignity or even respect. Come on girls, it's one thing to go all the way, but to do that with someone you barely know and the next day be all over another dude. I am not pointing any fingers *ahem* but seriously have you ever heard of sexual diseases. We are only 15 and hooking up shouldn't even be an idea to consider.

What i honestly don't understand, what is the joy of receiving a one night stand with no feelings or emotional connection. Do you honestly feel happy that you as a woman just lost respect of your friends and maybe even family?

Those people seriously bother me. I can understand if you are in a relationship or a very serious love connection and you are doing that, but not being in a relationship and just letting yourself do that is just pathetic. If you do that, you disappoint me. Don't even blame the guy, it's not his fault, if you put yourself in that situation you had it coming, it was your fault you had a big fat sign on your forehead that says, "I AM A WHORE AND PROUD. COME HAVE SEX WITH ME!" I usually have an open mind about everything, but being pro for that is just out of the question. I know it has been occurring for a long time, but where has your brain gone? All i can say is wow.

bad news

"Michelle, I have bad news"

I hate, hate, hate that phrase!

it makes my stomach go in twisted turns that i didn't even know was possible, and i feel like i am going to throw up, then i start feeling anxious, my heart starting pounding a beat that is twice as normal. I start thinking something extremely terrible is going to happen and then i start to think of something extremely great. but i can never get it down to the middle and chill out. No, i have to freak out and think of everything and anything that person could say that would be terrible, then i start feeling emotions. then i finally read/listen to what they tell me and it is stupid, sooo stupid that is just something that involves plans, goals, etc, you name it. then i yell at myself saying, "look what you did Michelle! you made such a big deal out of it" my brain starts to get random aches on my scalp, it feels like little needles that are poking around the inside of my head trying to get out. so, the next time you tell me that you have bad news, they better be BAD news.

:)

goals

Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals Goals

I don't think i have written enough goals as much as i have now, and i am taking it into literal terms, not counting the many "goals" that i have put above. I am going nuts. I was writing in my summer journal for school, and then out of no where i randomly start becoming insane with a "Goal Book" that includes, financial goals, school/ college goals, Life goals on what i really want to do, year goals, and accomplishing for the year goals. I AM NOT EVEN IN COLLEGE, and i am worrying about finanical issues. as i am writing all of this down in a 1-subject wide ruled notebook, my mind is racing faster than i can run, Faster than my bike, Faster than a car, FASTER than an instant forward on a movie. then 9 seconds later i just stop, completely stop what i am doing and just sit there, my mind is still spinning, still going, but i just soak in all the energy of my dim light in my room, and just melt in my seat, and then i come back.

This seems to happen to me sometimes. I worry about my future, i worry if i can live a happy life, I worry about all of these GOALS! sometimes i even wonder if this is normal, I am only 15.

I wish this would stop...